Love Never Fades
by Abbie1212
Summary: Starts off in 1657... goes through Carlisle's life... Really sad... Bella x Carlisle... I don't know quite how to explain it...Read and Enjoy!
1. Isabella

Disclaimer: Hey, once again I do not own Twilight…

A/N: So, I really need at least two stories of the same couple going at the same time, just so I can switch back and forth, I have a very small undiagnosed form of ADD… umm yeah so be sure to tell me how you like the beginning... I'm finishing up "Accidentally.." as soon as I can… then I'm continuing… I just didn't want to have to wait to post this…and as far as I've planned there will be chapters present day as well… it's AU obviously details are wrong… Read. Enjoy. Review…

Love Never Fades

Chapter One – Isabella

Carlisle Cullen

**England 1657**

It was my seventeenth birthday and all I had gotten from my mother was a kiss on the cheek as I headed out the door towards the Church to meet with my father. They had let me sleep in, that was about all you got in these times on the day of your birth. My father was the pastor at the Anglican Church, and that meant he was in charge of the witch, werewolf, and most importantly Vampire purges. I was absolutely sure that the majority of the "vampires" my father had had killed were nothing but normal men, but I kept my mouth shut. I wasn't about to say anything, he would surely, even as my father accuse me of being a vampire or a warlock myself. I wasn't even sure these blood sucking fiends were real, they were surely just the object of old legends. Possibly a reality when father was young, but that was a while ago, they had surely died out by now, and I wasn't for killing any innocent life.

None the less, I was all set up to follow in my father's footsteps. I had been just about forced from every direction to become the pastor to take my father's place in a few years. He had groomed me since childhood, taking from me the weapons other boys played with and trained with and replacing them with great biblical teachings I'm sure would have been remotely interesting to someone other than a young boy. Now I saw the reason for it all, I didn't then, but as I aged I figured it out. I was his only son, he only wanted for me to follow in his shadow, not an uncommon request. My friend, John, had already taken his place in place of his own father as one of the village hunters, and David was working with his father to become the next blacksmith, it all made sense.

I guess I just didn't belong. I spent almost every minute that I wasn't at the church sitting in our kitchen which she used as her shop as the town medicine woman. I loved that simple fact that rubbing a certain concoction of leaves and herbs on a wound would make it heal faster, and the blood letting usually amazed me. It was so simple, yet I had seen its effects with my own eyes.

I walked down the street trying to remember how exactly to mix one of the medicines my mother had made the night before as I approached her house. I stopped immediately, my mind yanking itself from any prior thought as she walked out onto her balcony. Her beautiful brown hair that so perfectly matched her eyes blew softly in the wind, and I gazed up in awe at her. She was majestic and more beautiful than anyone could ever imagine beyond their wildest dreams. The amazing part about her was that she was kind, and gentle as well as beautiful. The few moments that I had been able to speak to her clouded my thoughts at all times. I was hopelessly in love with her, and I was convinced she could never feel the same about a future pastor. She was only fifteen and I was sure her parents were going to marry her off soon. She required a prince, surely, or at least the greatest warrior this village could provide, perhaps an artist even, not me. Someone with glory, someone who has already achieved some great meaning in society.

"Isabella!" I heard her mother call from somewhere inside the house, "Get off that Balcony, girl!"

"Yes, Mother," she said in that sweet angelic voice my ears had become so acute to.

"Oy! Boy!" I heard my father call from up the street, sticking his head out of the front door to the church, "Hurry, son, there is work to be accomplished today."

"Yes, Sir," I called as I ran to my father's side.

"Gawking at the Master Swan's girl again are you son?" He replied, not quite as angry as I'd seen him, but still quite livid at my tardiness.

"Gawking, no sir, never," I replied politely, being sure to mind my 'sir's.

"Get in, we've been waiting for you," He said with a sigh as he opened the door and I followed him into the church.

I sat in the pew nearest the altar of the church as I did for the first few hours that I was there, par father's instructions. I aught to have been praying for enlightenment and courage along with strength in my faith and a lot of other things that I honestly would never want for myself. Instead, that day I was praying desperately that I would be the one Isabella's parents chose to court and marry their daughter. I promised God that I would treat her correctly and with the respect my peers had forgotten existed towards women. I would take care of her and make sure she was never left wanting more of anything, ever. I would carry her close to my heart as long as I was on the planet. I pleaded with him to just let her belong to me.

"Carlisle," said my father as he walked over to me, "It is time you go with Severien to study."

"Yes, Father," I replied, we bowed I lowered my head to my father as I had been taught and went off to follow Severien up to roof to read through and study in detail one of the books of the bible for the remainder of the day.

This was what my life was like, and that was how I lived it. To my surprise, my father came up to the roof and told Severien to stop before the sun was even low in the sky.

"Carlisle, my boy," He said as he dismissed Severien with his hand and the elderly man left, "There is a gathering in the square tonight, hosted by Master Corinth. Why don't you run home and wash up before you attend?"

"Father?" I replied, too scared to believe him, I was never allowed to attend the town youth gatherings with my peers, father had always prohibited it.

"Well get a move on then," He answered my misbelieving look and clapped me on the shoulder to get me going.

I smiled, which was something I did rarely and ran off down the steps of the church and headed home. I walked into the house quietly, aware that my mother had one of her more serious patients in the kitchen and I walked careful not to tread on any of the patient's family. I walked through the house and into the bathroom. I bathed myself in the pail of water near our toilet chamber and changed into the most formal attire that had no ties to the church, which only left me with the suit that mom had made me not too long ago.

"Mother?" I called in a whisper as I walked into the parlor, and mother was sitting in the nearest chair, "How is Master Shiloh? Is the blood letting of any use?"

"No, not anymore, he shall perish within the hour I'm afraid, could you fetch your father to send him off?" She said sadly and my heart twisted for my mother, she was always seemed to die a little inside when she lost someone.

"Of course," I said, "I shall stop at the church and alert him on my way."

"You're looking rather dashing," she said with a smile, "Hoping to charm a certain neighbor, son of mine?"

"Quite possibly myself and every other young gentleman in town," I replied and she beamed at me, I prided myself at being the light in my mother's very dark world.

"Send your father along straight away, and be home before the sun shows up again," she said and I smiled.

"I will make haste," I said as Master Shiloh let out a long agonizing groan.

I walked speedily to the church, sure not to make a mess of my hair, as I had just combed it, and careful not to make rags of my clothing. I knocked three times as I was told to do for my father in emergency and he opened immediately.

"Master Shiloh?" He questioned as the door opened and I nodded.

"Mother said he's almost come to pass," I replied and my father nodded as he left the church and headed back the way I came.

By the time I had reached the square the sun was fading and there was a large crowd. I walked up and was greeted by David, Daniel, and John.

"I see your father has let loose your bindings," John said as the other two laughed, John was always the jokester.

"That was quite good," I replied with a smile, "I heard the Queen was in a search for a new jester, you seem fit, you should send her a letter."

They all laughed once more as I saw Isabella join the crowd accompanied by a few other girls out of the corner of my eye. My family, as the religious head of the village ran in all of the credible social circles, so it didn't matter all that much who I was seen with. Especially in our village, all were members of the church, which was all that mattered.

The dancing started, formal and scripted like a boring festival of movement, always predictable, and I sat on the side. To my joy, Isabella didn't seem to be dancing either, though many of the men had asked her, she had politely turned them down. I hadn't worked up enough nerve to go over and gamble my dignity just yet. Though, she did catch me watching her a few times, but to my surprise she blushed and smile at me. Courtesy for the pastor's boy I'm sure, no one ever wanted to offend the clergy. I didn't want her to accept my invitation purely out of some duty she felt she had, I wanted her to want to, naïve as it was.

A few minutes after she caught me staring threw the candle light for the second time I stood and left the party. I figured now was as good as any to take a stroll and think over some of the remedies mother had used trying to save Master Shiloh. I also wondered as I walked whether or not he had pulled through or not, and that was when I heard light footsteps behind me and I turned around.

There standing behind me in the middle of the street was Isabella.


	2. Seaside Moments

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

A/N: Yeah sorry I waited so long to update… song to mind (Just saying) Lifehouse's You and Me… Read. Enjoy. Review.

Love Never Fades

Chapter Two – Seaside Moments

I stood there admiring her as though I had forgotten how to form words. My tongue had frozen inside of my mouth as I gazed at her in the moon light. Her soft, wavy and beautiful brown hair looked like silk in the milky moon light. Her eyes were soft and caring, though they reflected the nearest torch's orange light adding something extra that I did not think could even be achieved. I then allowed my eyes to scan her body where her dress fit her perfect little petite body like a glove and it went into a bell shape at her hips. I swallowed hard and felt my jaw clench up as I did so.

"Miss Swan," I said in greeting as I realized I had been admiring her for much to long in silence, and I bowed politely as she curtsied to me, then smiled kindly at me, which sent my beat through the roof, "What ever are you doing this far from the party?"

"I only wished to know where you were directed," Isabella replied in that angelic voice of hers that managed to calm my rapidly beating heart, "Considering it is much too early in the evening for anyone to be retiring into their homes for the night."

"I was heading in the direction of the port," I replied, trying to be sure that my face was not turning red with my blushing, "The ships all set sail for the new world not to long ago so it is peaceful there, and you can see the heavens more clearly away from the torches and sound from the village."

"May I accompany you?" she asked and I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest.

"But of course," I replied, and I offered her my arm, which she took without caution, and I smiled.

We remained silent as I led her over to the vacant port and we walked out onto the old wooden dock. I looked over the side and saw that the water was low and I put down my arm as she released it and I sat down on the edge of the wood. I allowed my feet to dangle several feet above the waves and leaned lightly on the empty crate that was behind me. I looked up at her, and tried to bypass my mind and keep my brain functioning as she spoke.

"What if I fall in?" She asked cautiously as she gave me and the piece of dock beside me a longing look.

"I wouldn't let that happen," I said softly as a small smile spread across my face and she sat down next to me and leaned against the second crate with ease.

I was so sure sitting there with her that I had drifted into unconsciousness at the party and this was a excruciatingly cruel dream. She was sitting so close it was most certainly inappropriate and one of the perfect locks of her glowing brown hair rested gently on my shoulder. I wanted so desperately to turn my head and kiss her cheek, or hair, or any part of her. To have any part of her would be truly intoxicating, but I just stared off at the sea trying so hard not to stare at her, to marvel at her beauty.

"How is the church?" She asked politely and I couldn't bring myself to lie to her.

"Terribly dull, only you mustn't tell my father what I say," I said, and she giggled but I knew my father was most likely aware of my displeasure.

"I shall not," she replied, always proper, always kind.

"And your sewing?" I replied, knowing perfectly well that her mother was the seamstress, and I wondered if it was the same for woman as for men.

"Poorly," She replied with a small chuckle, "My father doesn't want me to become a seamstress like mother, he wants me taught baking and sewing patches rather than curtains and dresses for the townspeople. He wants me well read and polite, walking with books atop my head, which is especially difficult as I am the world's largest mess up."

"No, you are anything but a mess up," I replied quickly and blushed as I realized my words but she smiled at me and I continued, "Truly, you are far smarter and far more beautiful than any other woman I have met. You are too harsh on yourself, if you were to see yourself through my eyes you would see that you are of an angel's dimensions, and of a great mind."

"You judge me so quickly and without reason," she said and I shook my head as our eyes met.

"I see you, on your balcony reading the days and nights away, persons who read are much often smarter than myself. And I see you in the village taking care of the hunting dogs after they return, this proving your love for even the most gruesome of creatures. And you're beauty is easily noticed to those who appreciate it," I said as her eyes penetrated mine, freezing me in a joyous time and her lips formed one of the very few true smiles I had ever seen cross her face.

"And what of yourself, Mister Cullen?" she said, recognizing that I was a man in society if not yet a full fledged pastor.

I didn't reply, I found it truly horrid when asked that simple question. I was worried for a few minutes that she thought I was ignoring her, that was never something I wanted. I just wanted her to love me as much as I loved her.

"Surely one who thinks so highly of others has something to say for himself," She said and I shook my head and she sighed, "Well I see a proper gentleman with a good spirit, even if he does not see it himself. He is handsome and strong as well as strong in the morals and rules that he has been raised with. One that does not seem to realize that there is a reason I am out on my balcony at times where he is passing."

I turned away, not quite so sure why I was hiding the happiness that had come over me from her. I was sure to let her know that I was indeed smiling as I looked back out onto the ocean and heard the water lapping around the posts that supported the dock. I was still not sure that this wasn't a dream, or maybe I misunderstood. I just could not believe that the logical and conversational sides of my brain were both screaming at me that she was in love with me too. This was much more than my heart had bargained for tonight as my heart pounded through my chest.

I finally looked back around at her and she had been watching me under a careful eye. I gave her an innocent smile and she returned it as I looked over her small shoulder to see up the ally and that the party was almost over. There were mostly drunken tumblers still there and I stood up.

"I should be getting home then," she said as she stood, seeing what I saw through the ally way.

An immediate bell went off in my head. Most of the men in town were harmless but some were particular mean drunks and I didn't like the idea of Isabella heading home by herself. Jacob and his friends usually got pretty rowdy and Isabella had angered him by refusing to dance with him earlier. It would not be good if she were to find them on her way home, Jacob got pretty hot headed.

"May I accompany you home?" I asked as I offered her my arm once more and she grasped it eagerly, making a smile come across my face.

"Please do," she replied as she blushed and I chuckled.

We headed back up the ally and off towards our street. We were passing the church before we ran everyone who was heading home from the party, though most were still over under the lights and listening to the band. We walked passed the front steps of the church and were halfway between the church and her house when Jacob and his friends walked across the road to talk to us. They were stumbling and tripping over themselves.

"Aye, Isab-*burp*-ella," said Jacob as he eyed the girl on my arm up and down.

"Mister Black," I said, making sure that he and his friends were aware that I was there.

"Oh, greetings Pastor boy," said Embry teasingly and I swallowed hard.

"Why don't you three head home?" I suggested firmly.

"Oh, looks like Pastor Boy does have a bit of a mean streak," said Sam as he nearly fell over.

My eyes narrowed as Jacob continued to look Isabella up and down, a little too much by now. I caught a glimpse of her face out of the corner of my eye and she looked as though she were scared for her life, and that's when I realized that she was gripping my arm tighter than she was previously when we were chuckling our way home.

"Why don't you come with me, Miss Swan," said Jacob dutifully extending his arm for her and then promptly threw up onto the street.

I stepped in front of Isabella and made it so that she was on the side where the buildings were and I blocked for her as we passed Jacob, Embry, and Sam. They all tried to shove past me to get to her but I managed to keep them off without throwing any punches. I brought Isabella right up to her front door, and she knocked.

"Isabella?" Master Swan said as he opened the door and candle light spilled out onto the doorstep, he seemed surprised to see her home to early, and then he noticed me, "Mister Cullen? Why is it that you have bothered to bring my daughter home?"

"Some of the gentlemen had been drinking," I said as Isabella let go of my arm and stepped inside, "I just wanted to see her home safely."

"Why thank you, that was very kind," said Master Swan and I nodded.

"It was really no problem sir," I said and he nodded.

"Right, send my best to your father," said her father and I nodded.

"Of course," I said with a small smile and then I turned to leave and I heard the door shut behind me as I headed home.


	3. In Secret

Disclaimer: No ownership lines from me to Twilight

A/N: Hey… like I said story that will always take me a while to update…hopeless (Slightly cheesy) fluff before the ball starts rolling down a rather bumpy hill.. Read. Enjoy. Review…

Love Never Fades

Chapter Three – In Secret 

I sat in the front pew of the church with my head bowed. I had been feinting prayer for a few hours now and I looked up as Isabella entered the church with her keeper. I had forgotten that today was a popular day for the people to come and confess sins to my father. This was the one day my father was not breathing down my neck as Severin taught me more of the bible's teachings and Anglican practices. Severin was due to come and retrieve me at any moment and I couldn't help but not care in the slightest.

I watched as Isabella sat in the pew next to mine, her keeper taking a seat behind her. She looked back and around to make sure no one else was looking at her except myself then slipped a note over the side of the pew and it landed on the bench beside me. I slipped it into my pocket with a small smile to her, then looked quickly away as her keeper opened her eyes after her prayer. I looked up at the cross at the head of the church, trying desperately not to watch her with my eyes as her keeper brought her up to the confessional.

I opened the bible that was on my other side and opened it to a random page. I snuck the note out of my pocket and flattened it against the page so that I would be able to read it. I looked up to the balcony to Severin who was conversing with one of the other clergymen who was visiting from another village. I figured he would still be a while until he came to take me to the roof so I looked down at the note.

My Dearest Carlisle,

I often think of you and I regret any minute that I am not permitted to be with you. We must meet tonight, meet me behind the church just after nightfall. If you will be available for the meet, pass the balcony twice on your way home, if you pass once I will know that you are unavailable.

Love,

Isabella

I smiled as I put the note back into my pocket, I would be sure to casually throw it into the kitchen fire once I got home. If Isabella's father knew that we were meeting and hiding then he would never see me fit to wed his daughter, which was my desire. Though, instead of just doing as I should I could not allow myself to deny her anything, including a meeting with me which I was so happy to agree to anyways. I looked around the room, trying to keep my expression innocent as I could. I noticed that Severin was approaching with the new comer and I smiled as I shut the open bible and stood as they stopped at the end of my pew.

I walked to the end and bowed politely to both of them before Severin introduced me to him.

"Carlisle, may I introduce you to Pastor Lawrence," said Severin as he turned to Pastor Lawrence, "Pastor Lawrence, this is Carlisle Cullen. He is most promising and we can already be sure of great works from him. He is Pastor Cullen's boy and had been trained since his infancy."

"Nice to meet you, sir," I said with another small bow of my head.

"And you, I was just speaking to Severin and I intend to speak to your father as well, but I am seriously considering you to be accepted into my monastery in London," said Pastor Lawrence and I nodded.

"I'm quite sure that I am to stay here and take over for my father," I said mentally adding the fact that the convent would be a place that I wouldn't want to be even more than here, "It is a great honor that you were considering me though. I take pride in my studies."

Isabella had been listening in on the conversation from where she waited to go into confession. She sent a look my way which meant "Liar" but no one else noticed the girl as they continued to talk to me.

"Yes, well I'll have to talk to your father then will I not," said Pastor Lawrence and I nodded.

"Yes, Sir," I replied and then he walked off towards the confessionals as Severin escorted me upstairs for my lesson.

Father interrupted my lesson only a few minutes in and sent Severin back into the church. Father seemed troubled and I wondered why that was, momentarily forgetting Pastor Lawrence's presence and I squinted as the sun shone down on us and father began to speak.

"Son, Pastor Lawrence has requested that I send you to study in his convent in the city," my father told me and I nodded to signal I comprehended, "My question to you, my son, is whether you desire to go. You are now nearly a fully grown man, I cannot permit myself to make these decisions for you, I shall not hold you back if this is what you wish to go."

"Father," I started, then paused to figure out what to say to get out of going, "I was raised in this church, I know the people, I know their pains, and I wish remain here. I was brought up here and I am being trained to take your place when you are through, so that is what I intend on doing."

"That's my favorable son," said my father, patting me on the shoulder as a smile came across his face and a proud look in his eye.

He finished off with that and headed over to the side of the roof and looked down at the front steps of the church.

"Carlisle, go get our lunches from your mother," He said and I nodded silently as I headed for the stairs that lead down into the church.

I opened the front door and took our lunches from mother who bid me a good day and then headed back home. Usually we made it home for lunch, but on days that people came for confession, mother delivered our food to the church and we ate it around the back of the building. Before I shut the door I looked over down the street to see Isabella standing out on her balcony. I took a deep breath of fresh air before I went up and found father with his lunch.

The day past slower than the rest once I knew that I would be seeing Isabella that night. Father noticed how distracted I was and sent me home to assist mother shortly after lunch, but luckily Isabella was out on her balcony, I gave her a little nod and passed twice before arriving home. I got there as a small child, of around five years, with their arm hanging at an odd angle was walking to my door. I smiled at him and he returned it as I swung the front door open and allowed him inside. It was a slow day for my mother and it only took a few minutes to get the boy fitted into a sling.

"Where ever is your mother?" my mother asked him as I fetched him a cup of water from over by the pail, then I heard her add sternly, "How did you hurt your arm?"

"I am not sure," said the little boy as I handed him the water and he drank it, "Thank you, sir."

"No trouble," I replied kindly, "What is your name, boy?"

"David Swan, sir," He replied and I looked at him curiously, the Swans did not have a second child, "I am staying here with my aunt and Uncle, sir, mother's just passed and father didn't know what to do with me. I do not want to anger them, sir. I was lost."

"I will bring back," I replied with a small smile of reassurance.

"Thank you," said David as mother gave him a fond little smile, he was quite the cunning little boy.

I lifted him off the kitchen table where he sat and took him by the hand to lead him over to the door. I let go of his small hand as we stepped out into the setting sun, I was going to be late meeting Isabella, I was going to be required to stop home to announce that I was going for a stroll after returning David to his Aunt. He walked quickly beside me as we walked up the street, and I knew that Isabella would understand, as I was taking care of her small cousin. We were almost to the house when Isabella came out of her house, to my heart's delight, and ran down the street and scooped the little boy up.

"There you are David," She said as she cuddled the boy to her.

"Don't coddle him too much," I said and she smiled.

"He's only small," said Isabella and I gave her a warm and loving smile, which she returned as her keeper came out of the house.

"Isabella, what are you doing?" She said, not unkindly, and she smiled when she saw me, I could almost read her thoughts of oh, she's with the Cullen boy, he's safe.

"Mister Cullen has found David," said Isabella and her keeper nodded to me.

"Our deepest apologies, for any inconvenience it caused your family," said the keeper and I shook my head.

"Our pleasure to be of service," I replied politely and the keeper led Isabella and David off into the house once more.

I headed home, only to leave a few minutes later, telling mother to save me some dinner. I had so me "Spiritual searching" to do, that excuse as I walked out the door would ensure that my father would not worry about me until morning, or possibly even when I was late for church in the morning. Though, I was sure I would be back before the sun rose and in my bed when father woke up.

I looked both ways up and down the street, everyone was in for the night already. I walked by the front of the church as my father came down the steps. I didn't want to have to explain my excuse to be out so late to his face, so I figured mother could explain to him as I ducked into the ally way that would lead me to Isabella.

I turned the corner and saw Isabella sitting on the back stoop and she sprang up and curtsied to me and then I took her hand and kissed it, as was proper. Then the minute that I let go of it I pulled her into my arms and gave her the kiss that I had been longing to for so long, what surprised me was how she reacted, throwing her arms around my neck and pressed her lips right back onto mine.

She pulled away and I was once again taken aback by her beauty.

"Bella amante," I muttered using my father's feeling that I needed to be well read in Italian and all other known languages to good use, being able to call her beautiful lover in another language, but Isabella looked confused.

"What did you say?" She asked curiously, and I blushed, "Bella? I like it."

_How appropriate, _I thought as I smiled and she took my arm for a stroll around the back allies, _It was the beautiful part. _


	4. Love Letters

Disclaimer: Do not own Twilight

A/N: Hey guys, I guess it's been a while…sorry… Read. Enjoy. Review.

Love Never Fades 

Chapter Four – Love Letters 

I woke up the next morning I woke up with a leather bound book beside my head. I rolled over and flipped open the cover. All the pages were blank and there was a note from my mother on the front page. It was quick and decisive, explaining to me that it was a journal, which I had realized when I noticed all the pages were blank. She explained to me that she saw that I needed somewhere to put things that were on my mind while Father tried to fill my head with biblical teachings. Mother had always known of my distaste for the church, though we never spoke of it aloud. Mother rather often did things like this and I knew as well as she did to keep it quite from Father or else there would be grave consequences.

I then remembered that Isabella's note was still in my pocket from earlier and I ran to the opposing side of my room to retrieve it there. I grabbed it and put it between my mother's note and the first blank page. And, as the months passed I put each love letter that she gave me into the pages, with their date and occasionally I filled a page with normal journal entries. Though only scarcely as I was generally in bed much later than when sunlight was still viable through my open window, and writing by candle light was always rather irritating to me. Most of them were filled with the loving thoughts that I was feeling for Isabella, and occasionally a hint of irritation at my father.

I was beginning to fill with even more hatred than ever with the life that I had. The only shiny spot in my day was when I passed Isabella's balcony or when she handed me one of her always lovely love letters. It truly lifted my spirits anytime that we were alone, usually by the wharf or behind some of the more important buildings in the village. By late June of that year the leather bound book my mother had given me was bulky and just about full of Bella's letters. There were also a few drawings of her that I had drawn, some of them did her justice, and those I left while others I tore out and threw them into the fire. The truth was that none of my drawings, while they were beautiful, matched up to Isabella's true beauty. To say I was obsessed with her was a remarkable understatement, but she didn't seem to mind too much.

Then the day came that I had been both dreading and longing for, the day her father, Master Swan, announced that his only daughter was matured enough to marry. I dreaded it because I feared that he would pick another suitor that knocked on his door, and I longed for it because for some reason if he did think me suitable, I would be able to court my Isabella in public, no more sneaking around.

That day my Father told me to pray at home and go over to the Swan's household at around noon to be polite. He as well as my mother knew that I desired nothing more to become her husband, not that they knew anything of her and I already being in love. I was sure that no other couple even knew the meaning of love as we did, and I was sure that most thought it ought not to exist. I kept my mouth shut not only because it would be fatal to my chances, but because love was such a strong emotion, unbecoming of the future village Pastor.

At noon mother came into the parlor were I sat in the chair with the bible next to me and my journal, nearly filled with her letters on my lap. I was, according to Father supposed to be reading the story of Jonah for the seventh time trying to figure any other meaning there could possibly be, I knew my correct answer was to be no, and if I has managed to come up with something other than the obvious I would be chastised, so I didn't see the point. She walked through the door as the clock tower rang announcing it to be noon, and I stood up immediately. I had groomed myself well when I had awoken that morning and all my mother did as I got to my feet and tucked my Journal into my bag was run a comb through my hair to make me seem even more groomed.

I walked out the door and up the road until I got to the Master Swan's household. I knocked politely on the door and waited for someone to answer, and to my surprise it was Isabella's mother who did so, usually Isabella's Nursemaid answered the door, or Master Swan himself.

"Ah, yes, how can we be of service to you, Mister Cullen," said Isabella's mother and I smiled politely as I bowed my head neatly.

"I wish to speak to Master Swan," I replied kindly, and she bid me inside, where I saw Isabella sitting in the parlor as we walked through to the Master's Parlor.

She shot me a kind and loving look as she watched her dear cousin play with his marbles on the floor in front of her. Her nursemaid was fusing about, and trying to keep her from the windows, now that she was out in society she would no longer be allowed to wander onto the balcony as she wished like a child. Our rules were silly and I didn't quite get them sometimes, she was no more or less beautiful today than she was the day before.

Her mother led me right to the door outside the Master's Parlor and she knocked sharply once.

"Master Swan," she called kindly, "The Mister Cullen is here to see you."

"Send him in, by all means," I heard Master Swan reply, and he seemed pleased that I was there, so Isabella's mother excused herself and I turned the knob and entered.

"Sir," I said bowing my head immediately upon entering and Master Swan nodded, gesturing to one of the chairs opposite him as he set his book down.

"What is it that you need, young sir?" said Charlie formally, and the look on his face told me that her already knew why I was there.

"I have come in order to ask you whether you would consider myself to court your daughter with the intention of marriage," I replied and when he didn't stop me I continued, "I am nearly finished with my studies and I am in line to take over the church once my father is finished, as you probably are already aware. I am of stable and more than adequate income and I will be able to serve your daughter well with any material item she desires, as well as the caring and watchful eye of a good and solid husband."

There was a long silence in which I was utterly and completely scared blind out of my mind and in which Master Swan just watched me. He seemed to be trying to measure my courage in whether I would say something, but my upbringing told me to keep my mouth shut tight and just wait for him to speak. I had said all that I could.

"Right," He finally said the formal tone gone, "I like you, Cullen, you're a good man. You come from a good family and you seem quite genuine. I like that. I have no doubts that you will be able to take good care of my daughter. You may begin to court her, in the most respectful and dignified ways I am sure. However, I withhold you from any offers of marriage. There are a lot of suitors like yourself that are eager to court Isabella, though you have proven yourself apart, I just want what's best for my daughter, I'll leave the true decision to a little later, do you not agree?"

"Of course sir," I said and he motioned for me to stand.

"Send your father my best."

"I shall."


	5. Courting, Charm, and Complications

Disclaimer: Wish I did own Carlisle and Bella and the whole gang… but I don't

A/N: Hey, so now I get to get into what's going to happen (yay) wow it's been a while for this story… sorry… and in order to get the ball rolling on the story a lot happens here…Read. Enjoy (I know you are all going to hate me but at least I hope you guys will think it's a good chapter). Review…

Love Never Fades 

Chapter Five – Courting, Charm, and Complications

I was so very enthusiastic and joyful as Bella and I walked down street as the sun was beginning to set. I was enjoying our courting, even if the not secretive courting had to be chaperoned by Isabella's Nursemaid, who I quickly charmed. She was one of the people that I was trying to instill upon about how very happy I would be able to make Isabella. Isabella, when her father had told her that she would be courting me, had fought hard not to act as happy as she was, but a smile had spread across her face and even Master Swan was able to see how truly happy the arrangement made her. I figured if I got the nursemaid on my side her mother would quickly join as well and her father would be quick to follow.

"Miss Swan," I said as I bent over and picked a flower from the nearest bush and placed it into her hand that was free and not wrapped around my arm.

Her nursemaid was a few steps behind us as we headed toward Isabella's home. We got up to the door and Jake and several of the suitors that Master Swan had turned down were standing nearby as I took her hand in mine and kissed her knuckles. Her nursemaid didn't like that so much, but merely cleared her throat and I gave her a charming smile as I put my hand into my pocket to finger the love note Bella had slipped me while we were walking through town.

"Mister Cullen," said Isabella's mother as I opened the door for Isabella to go inside.

"Of course," I said with a smile and a bob of the head as she led us into the house.

The women led me into the dining room and I pulled out Isabella's chair for her so she could sit down and make herself comfortable in the chair next to mine as he mother sat down on the opposing side of the table. It took me a second to realize that her nursemaid had run to the kitchen so that she could offer me something to drink. I sat there politely, hands folded in my lap and the room was quite until Isabella's nursemaid came back into the room with a pot of tea on a silver platter with four small tea cups around it. She set it down on the end of the table where no one was seated and addressed me first.

"Would you care for a spot of tea Mister Cullen?" The woman asked and I nodded with a small and friendly smile.

"Yes. Please," I replied politely as she poured me a cup and I waited until everyone had theirs and she had sat back down at the end of the table to take a sip.

"So how was your stroll?" Isabella's mother questioned and I swallowed quickly in order to answer her.

"Fairly well," I replied, remembering to be proper and not just blurt out that it was one of the best things I could have possibly been doing, "Where is Master Swan this evening?"

"He's down at the tavern this evening," Her mother replied and I nodded, it was not an uncommon place for the gentlemen of the village to be the night before the day of rest, though that was not an activity in the cards for anyone born into my family.

The closest we got to wine was the wine in the communion cups up at the church.

"Well, I best be going," I said finishing off the cup of tea and then handing it to Isabella's nursemaid, it did not feel quite chivalrous to remain in the house long with out the master of it being present.

"When shall we be expecting you again, Mister Cullen?" This time it was Isabella who spoke.

"I shall visit shortly on my way to the church in the morn," I replied with a smile to her, but something told me I would be seeing her before that, "Do not fear my love."

I bowed out of the room and then walked from the house with my head held tall. I had wanted to have a word with Master Cullen about the fact that he had withheld the issue of myself wedding Isabella until a later date. I opened Isabella's letter on the way to the home and I read it quickly, it just told me to meet her, as usual, behind the church after the village clock stroke ten. I was walking by the tavern on my way home, and I quickly found myself at its door. It was perfectly ok for me to go in, but I would have to keep a low and proper profile.

I walked into the room and I very quickly found Master Cullen. Though, I thought best by now not to approach him. He was sitting at a game of cards not to far in the door and the man that was sitting with him was, even though the room was foggy, I could tell it was Alexander. I was shocked momentarily that Master Swan would associate himself with such vermin, but then again, he and the rest of the village, while they had their rumors, did not hear his confessionals or see the women themselves. And unfortunately for myself, Master Swan never wanted to believe anything bad about anyone.

Alexander was a man of Twenty years, he was one of the guards of the village under Master Swan, so I must admit that was why they were together that night. Alexander was a rather plump and distasteful man, his beard was often slopped over with food or had wine crusted in it. The man had a head hotter than fire and was always ready to row with anyone that came across him. He had by now had several wives, though they had all mysteriously disappeared with one crackpot story or another. My mother often saw these women once their bodies turned up. They were always badly bruised and their necks broken. The poor women, none of them lasting in marriage with Alexander longer than a few months, I had once over head my father explaining to my mother the nature of Alexander's confessional visits. The only time he ever came into the church was after one of them disappeared, and it was only to confess to their murder. My father had nearly told Master Swan several times, as Master Swan was the chief guard, but it would break in our religion, the confession was always between God, My Father, and Alexander. Alexander often blamed the vampires in public, and it only fueled my father and his followers on their ridiculous and fruitless hunts.

Under my father's roof there was no doubt in any of our heads that Alexander was a murderer. Vampires, even in our legends did not break women's necks and beat them. The bodies that were found to be the victims of vampire attacks were often completely unharmed except for teeth marks in their skin, the majority around the neck area.

"You have brought no more to bet with, my friend," said Alexander in his usual gruff and crude voice as he poured another mug of whisky down his throat.

"Oh, but I did, my dear Alexander, my daughter's hand in Marriage," Master Swan said as he swayed in his seat, perhaps he had had a bit too much to drink, but either way I wanted to charge across the room and hurt him as much as I could.

I had never wanted to hurt another human being so much in my life, but I was stuck. My legs had betrayed me as I stood there frozen, watching the deal that ruined my life go down. I could no longer hear their voices as the world crashed in around me and Master Swan surrendered his cards onto the table and put his head in his hands as he lost. I made a quick exit from the tavern and stalked down the street as the clock stroke nine behind me. The tavern closed now, and everyone was stumbling home. I, however, couldn't bring myself to go home, not in this state, and not with my heart shattered into as many pieces as it was in. I was surprised that it even could continue beating.

I quickly decided to go to my second home, the church and wait and see if Isabella would show up. I had no doubt that she would if she could get away. Her mother and Nursemaid would not be pleased with the Master at all. They both luckily believed every bit of gossip they heard and this was one of the more obvious ones. The whole town basically ignored Alexander's existence, why didn't Master Swan?

My mental rampage continued until the clock, seemingly a few minutes later struck ten and I heard my Isabella's tears as she came around the corner to the back of the church. She saw me immediately and ran right into my arms and I wrapped them tightly around her.

"I thought you wouldn't come, the whole town knows now and Father did the most terrible thing, have you not heard?" She said tears flowing rapidly into my chest, I pressed my lips gently to the top of her head.

"I have," I whispered lightly, my chest pounding as I sat on the back stoop of the church, with her in my arms, "I have my Bella, I have."

She wept into me longer and harder at the use of my pet name for her, and I couldn't help but allow the tears I myself had been holding back to escape into her hair as I pressed my cheek into her head.

"You know of the rumors surrounding him?" she asked, pulling away ever so slightly so that she could look up into my face.

"They are not just rumors," I replied as I kissed her forehead, and started to weep once more.

"What are we to do?" She said sadly and she pressed herself into me once more.

"We shall leave this place."


	6. The Escape

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

A/N: Hey... so I tweaked Carlisle's age just a bit but I will rectify it later on… kinda…Read. Enjoy. Review [Please]…

Love Never Fades 

Chapter Six – The Escape

It took several months for the ships from the New World to return, in which both Bella and I both turned another year older, in waiting for our plan to go into effect. Our plan was a simple one, we were to meet out at the shipping port near midnight as they set off for the new world. We would pay passage on one of the ships and get out of there as soon as possible. We were very fortunate as to the demand of her mother that she and Alexander have an extending courting period, though, even with that they were to be married soon. Despite Isabella's petitions to her father, which were becoming less and less dignified and more and more panicked. Isabella's mother still smiled at me as I passed during my morning routine, as did Isabella's nursemaid, but her father, who refused me eye contact, shoed my by so that I would hurry along.

I rushed home the night of our departure, and I wasn't sure why I did as so, considering the ships didn't shove off from the docks until midnight. I walked through the door to the house, and didn't bother stopping in the kitchen to alert mother to my presence and went straight to my quarters. I kneeled to see under my bed and grabbed my old leather bag that my mother had gotten for me from the traders coming back from the New World a few years ago. It had served it's purpose in assisting me in carrying my books to the church and back to the house. I took my journal from my wardrobe and put it into the bag, along with my bible. I then went into a separate portion of the wardrobe and took a pile of currency out from behind some of my best clothing. It was all I had been able to accumulate between doing work around the village in my spare time and what small wages I got from the church. Father, fortunately had put me onto the roster for pay when I was sixteen, and with nothing else to spend it on, I had a pretty hefty sum of currency to put into the bag with the books. It would at least be enough to pay passage on a ship and get started in the New World.

I left my bag on my bed and went downstairs to wait in agony for it to be time to depart. I sat down at the kitchen table as Mother helped one of the neighbors with a rash they had aquired. Isabella already had the necessary money to get out, I had given it to her in case she had to get out in an emergent situation, it would, not by ship, but it would get her far enough away, and I would follow her. She infiltrated all my thoughts as I sat there, blankly watching as my mother handed our good neighbor the necessary herbal mixture to get the rash to disappear, and then he left.

My father came in to the kitchen at the moment that neighbor was leaving and he held the door for him. Father's presence was a surprise, while it was true that it was now nearing seven in the evening, but father was never present in the house until the clock tower struck eight at least.

"Carlisle," My father said, only once Master Jermione was gone from the house and we saw him out the window on the street, "There is to be a raid this evening my boy."

_Oh No, not again, not another fruitless attempt to catch and kill a creature that did not exist. I would not mind these raids nearly as much if they did not insist on killing people they knew were innocent to ensure that the villagers felt at peace. Though, maybe this will let me have an easier escape. This was good, anyone who went missing during the raids was perceived dead, and honored for their courage, whether they were part of the raid or not. _

"Carlisle must remain at home with me tonight," My mother piped up and my father looked around at her, "It shall only be a matter of time before they shall discover who plunders them, I wish to have some protection."

"Of course, my lady," said my Father, then he was gone and I gave my mother a weak smile.

"Carlisle, have you given any of the young ladies in town any thought?" my Mother inquired after a few moments of silence, and I shook my head, "I am aware that you had your heart set upon the Swan girl, but promise me you will try."

I stood up from the table and walked over to embrace my mother in a hug. I couldn't lie to her, but I had to bring comfort to her in some fashion. She would be the hardest person to leave behind for me, and my heart yearned to tell her what was to happen, and she would have kept her son's secrets. Though, it was better that she ought not know. We were to leave our families social status in ruin, the scandal of it all, the minister's son running off with the guard's daughter. Even with the vampire raid, the rumors would circulate. It hurt me to cause my mother heartache, but I could not condemn my Isabella to death. Mother would understand eventually, that I meant her no harm, just that I simply would not be able to live knowing there was something I could've done when it was too late.

"I love you, mother," I said, "And your welfare is always something close to my heart."

"I know, you are a good man, my son," said mother as I released her and she went to the vampire raid cabinet, only to return with a sack of garlic cloves, and one of wooden daggers, "Deliver these to the men gathering at the church? When you return I will have supper ready."

"Yes, Ma'am," I replied politely as I threw the sacks over my shoulder and went for the door.

I passed Isabella's father's house with a heavy heart. I glanced into the front parlor window to see her on the floor reading a school book to her small cousin on the hearth. She smiled warmly to me out the window as I passed, as she was no longer permitted to go out on her balcony.

"Psst," I heard suddenly as I passed the ally way between Isabella's residence and the following house on the street.

I looked down the ally in the almost complete darkness and saw Isabella's nursemaid beckoning me into the ally. I quickly and eagerly followed her directions.

"Yes, ma'am?" I questioned as I walked into the ally's shadow.

"From Miss Swan," She said hurriedly as she handed me one of Isabella's notes.

"Thank-you," I replied with a smile as I put it into the side pocket on my vest.

"No, Mister Cullen, thank-you, thank-you," She said in a manner that told me Isabella had confided in her that we were to escape, "I know that that girl means the world to you, and I know that you will do everything in your power to keep her safe from harm."

"I shall," I replied solemnly, and with that I returned to the street.

I left the note in my pocket until I was on my way returning to my home. I read it as I sat on the step on front of my house:

_My Dearest Carlisle, _

_It is inconceivable to me just how much you mean to me, and my hope is that I mean just as much to you. I must thank you, though I know you shall never accept anything in return for this great deed other than my love. My heart belongs rightfully to you, and with you it shall always remain, as you are my prince right out of the fairytales, coming to save me. It is so joyous that we are to depart tonight and the prospect of never being in the arms of another is a feeling to which I cannot give words. _

_I am eager as always to start our new life together, away from this place, where we are free to be loved by one another. I cannot wait much longer to become forever yours as Mrs. Cullen. I beg to you that as soon as we land in the New World that is our first priority. I yearn for myself to provide you offspring, and my only hope is that I can provide you with a son to grow like you and bring this happiness to another. _

_I send all my love to you until we are together once more. I love you, and I shall, from this moment on, be at your side always. _

_For eternity yours, _

_Isabella _

My heart pounded as I folded her note up and placed it back in my vest and entered the house. True to her word, mother already had quite the feast on the dining room table as I passed it to retrieve my bag from my bed. I sat on the edge of my bed as I opened my journal and placed Isabella's letter, unfolded like the rest, between the last two pages of my journal. The last page still remained empty, and I was still unsure what to do with the page as I shut the book and placed it back in my bag.

I left my bag on the chair in the parlor on the way back to the dining room to sit down to supper with Mother. I was glad that she had prepared so much, I would be able to pack the salted remains in my bag for the first leg in our journey, to keep the scurvy away. I prayed quickly over the food, and thanked the lord for the opportunities that we had and mentally requested smooth travels.

After supper I sat in the parlor and flipped through my journal, reading over some of Isabella's earliest love letters. Time managed to pass quickly and soon I heard the clock tower announce the eleventh hour and I stood up. I replaced my journal into the bag that I had left in a different chair so that it would not alert mother, and I slung the single strap over my shoulder as I headed for the door.

Mother had long since fallen asleep in the chair by the door to the parlor, and I leaned down to kiss her sleeping head. I then made a quick pace to the kitchen where I properly salted the food so it would not spoil and I wrapped it in clothe as I placed it into my bag. I looked to the archway that led out to the front door, and I froze right where I was upon the sight of my mother.

There were tears in my dear mother's eyes and she was looking at me. I had to do a double take, I was sure that wasn't pride in her eyes. It made sense that my mother had put the pieces together, she was good at that.

"My son," She said as she ran to me and wrapped her arms around me in a hug, "I so proud of you, my son, with whom I am pleased. I wish you and Isabella every happiness in this life – oh my son you will be missed- though this is right, you must save her, you must do it."

"Stear clear of Alexander, I doubt that he will manage to figure it out, with his decreased intelligence, but if someone else does for him- he had a horrid temper."

"I shall, my son, now go," She said, kissing my forehead and then sending me out of the door.

I got out on the street and the torches that lined the streets at night lit my way to the ally back behind the house. I didn't want the raiding parties to notice me, they may act on me thinking I was the blood sucking creature they feared so much. They were not well trained and they were always scared and overly jumpy with their daggers. I ran down the ally way behind the house that led, however indirectly to the docks.

I was almost there, I could see Isabella as she approached one of the ships, and I stopped a few feet of coming into the view of the sailors, and of my beautiful Isabella. I stopped for a split second to admire her beauty and kindness from afar, as she tripped over some rope on the ground, but caught herself before falling. I held in a chuckle and I took another step towards her as I heard my father and Master Swan's raiding party approach, so I sped up so that we wouldn't miss the boat.

I was about to step out of the ally way when a man appeared in front of me out of thin air. I froze, he was tall and pale in the moon light and there was an instant feeling inside telling me to run, but I could not. I felt my heart beat faster as he approached me eerily and then, there was nothing before a sudden piercing pain in the side of my neck as I realized what was happening.

The pain was excruciating.


	7. Learning to Live with It

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

A/N: Hey… so now the majority of the happiness is gone… short really depressing chapter … Read. Enjoy. Review…

Love Never Fades 

Chapter Seven – Learning to Live with It

I emerged from the ally way three days later, my throat burning for blood, I had been set to go all day But I had chosen to come out at night, from the legends, they said that Vampires glis, and I didn't need to sparkle and catch everyone's eye as I jumped into the harbor and drowned myself. The whole day I had thought of Bella, but I also knew that I may not be able to resist the temptation of killing her. I couldn't do that, I couldn't hurt her, and once I had given it some decent thought, I was a monster. There was no way that my beautiful Isabella could love a vampire, she was in love with the human me, and I wasn't that person anymore. I wasn't a person at all.

I would probably have cried, but my new body, which seemed a little older didn't allow for tears. As I stood and took the potatoes rotting potatoes off myself, dumped mother's now rotten and smelling food on the ground. I flipped through my journal quickly, I wanted to go check and make sure Isabella had left, sought freedom, but I couldn't bring myself to. I already knew that she wouldn't leave without me, and she was home, it was better if I didn't know for sure.

I put my bag over my shoulder and made my way through the darkness to the now vacant harbor. I meant to jump into it with my bag and all, but I could not let Bella's letters sink with me, it seemed a little ridiculous, but those letters in that journal meant to much to me, and it broke my heart to think of them at the bottom of the ocean. I set my bag down on the dock, hidden under the old crate we had leaned against that first night, in vain hopes that eventually Isabella would come and find it before plunging right into the water.

I let myself sink to the bottom like the rock I had become and I closed my eyes as my feet reached the sand at the bottom. I stayed there several minutes, much longer than a human could ever, and I just sat at the bottom, for a very long time. So this was apparently not the way to go. I swam to the surface, only to realize then that it was morning, and I tad spent the whole night wishing myself to be granted the pleasure of drowning. I knew they kept search parties out for the lost for three to five days after a raid, so I was not sure why exactly I was so surprised to see my father leading a group down the ally that I had just come from.

There was a burning in my throat as I smelt their blood, and wanted it. I was horrified with myself as I sank back down in the water and walked across the bottom to the other side of the harbor where there was a patch of woods, and cliffs. The cliffs, while extremely high, were impractical, it wouldn't be good for the whole village to see me sparkle that high up and there was also the fact that I could not be sure that it would work. I wanted my journal as I reached the shore, realizing I had left it on the dock in the harbor.

I sat in the middle of the woods, hoping that I could starve myself to death. I sat there for what had to be days, my throat was burning and the wildlife had come to thing of me as a part of the forest. A fallow deer had dared to come pretty close to me, and my throat burned. Before I could have even thought about it I was over it, and I had my teeth were sunk into the poor little thing's neck.

When I was done the burning was, manageable, and I had found my way of 'eating'. It got dark and I swam back across the harbor to get my bag, but it was gone. One of the search parties had found it, and due to the fact that Isabella was at my funeral in the village center, no one had read it, or at least no one had mentioned it to Alexander, who was there too, or her father who stood by her side.

I took a cloak from a nearby and brought up the hood so that I could attend, about as morbidly as possible my own funeral. I walked across the square and saw my mother, she had my bag and was standing teary eyed with my father. I would have loved to go and comfort her, but it was better that she thought me dead, and with the dim light no one would recognize me. Along with the fact that the venom had aged me slightly, I still looked like myself, I was just a bit different.

My father gave a beautiful sermon before the procession brought us to the town cemetery, where they had already put my stone in, and as there was no body, there was no hole in the ground. After they were done, the crowd started to disperse and soon it was merely my parents and Isabella with hers. I held my breath, now that everyone was gone, I could smell Isabella's blood as I stood in the shadows of the church. It was so sweet and it called to me, so I held my breath. While I watched, my mother walked over to Bella and handed my bag over to her.

"You ought to have this," She said and Master Swan didn't seemed to pleased, but he allowed it as my mother walked away and Isabella sniffled a little before following her father back to her house, and I followed.

I watched her through the balcony opening as she climbed onto her bed, and her nursemaid brought in hot coals to put at the foot of her bed. As she walked in Isabella started to cry, and it was the most heart breaking sound I had ever heard. I yearned to run to her and take her away from this terrible place, but I couldn't. She had flipped through my journal earlier, and now it was hitting her, hard.

"Miss Isabella," said her nursemaid sternly, "Why didn't you go? You shant not've stayed, Mister Cullen loved you, he would have desired for you to go and live your life."

"I knew that something was a miss when he failed to show up at the harbor," said Isabella through her sobs, "I knew he must have been dead not to show up, and I didn't leave because I do not wish to live without him here with me. I will marry Alexander and wait for the day he comes to kill me with anticipation, only in hopes that he will wait for me at the pearly gates."

"You are a foolish child," said her nursemaid as my still heart tore into two and I realized that I could not produce tears.

That was the second that I swore that I would keep Isabella safe for as long as she lived. I would silently keep Alexander from harming her without allowing her to see me if I could help it. I wasn't in it to cause her anymore heartbreak. I just needed to keep her safe, and protect her from what was to come. I had promised her that I would keep her safe, and that was what I was going to do. I would go to her wedding, and sit in the background, I would be there for her, even if she didn't know it.


	8. Love Never Fades

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight…

A/N:… so…. this was one of the first chapters I wrote, which is weird because usually I just write as I go… (And yes I was originally planning on adding this bit in later, but I figured I might as well now…) and seriously for the beginning listen to the song!!! (Katy Perry's thinking of you)… and then (I feel bad – Rascal Flats) but you'll know where that one goes… Read. Enjoy. Review…

Love Never Fades 

Chapter Eight – Love Never Fades

**Forks, Washington Present Day**

I drove home from the hospital late that evening, the radio on, and at a normal human pace. I usually just enjoyed the time away from the family to listen to some of the modern music that I refused to listen to around anyone, it was the music that was all about loosing your love, and I just let myself get lost in it. Setting aside some time to let myself be as miserable as I felt all the time was a great help. I turned the speakers on full blast so that I couldn't even hear myself think if I wanted to, pulling the car over to the side of the road as Katy Perry's 'Thinking of you' came over the radio. Emmett would have a field day if he knew just how much I was in love with the song. I actually had first heard it emanating from Alice's room, and it had – or rather would have – hit me so hard I cried.

As the song started off my vampiric photo graphic memory brought me right back to Isabella. Her perfect brown hair and her beautiful brown eyes, it was like she was still there with me. Sometimes I still couldn't believe that she wasn't still here with me. I reached for my bag and into it to try and locate my journal, when I realized that I hadn't carried it with me for a few decades now, it was now resting in my sock drawer.

I then thought of Esme, and how I felt so bad, not telling her, but to tell her that she would always be second, Isabella was still in my heart as she always would remain. I remembered her final letter and I felt a stab of guilt. I had long since memorized it, and I recited in my head:

_My Dearest Carlisle, _

_It is inconceivable to me just how much you mean to me, and my hope is that I mean just as much to you. I must thank you, though I know you shall never accept anything in return for this great deed other than my love.__** My heart belongs rightfully to you, and with you it shall always remain,**__ as you are my prince right out of the fairytales, coming to save me. It is so joyous that we are to depart tonight and __**the prospect of never being in the arms of another is a feeling to which I cannot give words. **_

_I am eager as always to start our new life together, away from this place, where we are free to be loved by one another. __**I cannot wait much longer to become forever yours as Mrs. Cullen**__. I beg to you that as soon as we land in the New World that is our first priority. I yearn for myself to provide you offspring, and my only hope is that I can provide you with a son to grow like you and bring this happiness to another. _

_**I send all my love to you until we are together once more. I love you, and I shall, from this moment on, be at your side always. **_

_**For eternity yours, **_

_Isabella _

The pang of guilt soon turned to an overwhelming feeling of depression as the tears that would never come stung the back of my eyes. I would have to carry the guilt of not staying true to my Isabella, and I felt as though I could have jumped into a bon fire the moment I could. I just wanted this life to be over, I didn't want to be here any longer without her there by my side. She was my one true love, and even though that title was supposed to be Esme's, it wasn't and it never would be. I needed her words to be true, I needed her by my side, and I yearned to be her's for eternity as she had vowed to be mine. I needed her, I missed her, and I still hadn't gotten over her, three hundred and fifty years after she had had the good fortune of leaving the earth.

I was now married to Esme, and Esme was great, she was amazing, but she was no Isabella, and as the song said it was hard to settle for second best when you already had had your soul mate. Isabella popped into my head again, the way she laughed the many times that we spent running in the back allies of London, the way her hair blew in the breeze of the sea air and the way she had stayed with me in my dreams when I had been blessed with them. Though, I didn't need them when I had them.

I missed my Bella as much as I missed my human life, I was never meant to live without her. I knew that, I knew that I was supposed to die when she did, and in a way, of course I did. Though, it was entirely unfair and torturous in the fact that I was denied the simple wish of truly dying as well.

Eventually I pulled myself together enough to drive the rest of the way back to the house and I got there and saw Edward, Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett out in the front yard. Jasper looked distraught and the others just were trying to get Edward to tell them something, though their voices were not clear to me. I got out of the car and approached the group of my 'children' and they all quickly surrounded me as Edward gave me a weary and warning look. They all started to talk at once, and even with my vampiric hearing I couldn't understand what they were all trying to say at the same time. Edward however, said nothing.

"Everyone, quite," I said calmly and I turned to Edward, "Edward, please tell me what's going on."

"Esme decided to do laundry," said Edward, "And in putting your socks away…"

He didn't have to finish, and he didn't as I silently thanked him and he nodded as he read my mind. The other kids all just looked at me, and Jasper, who I found out didn't know the whole story through a silent inquiry to Edward, looked over at me murderously. He had only been feeling Esme's hurt feelings and most likely broken heartedness, and perhaps and tad bit of jealousy and now my sorrow. I couldn't even configure in my mind what he was thinking of me at the moment.

"Where is she?" I asked immediately and Edward nodded towards the house.

"She hasn't come out of the bedroom since she found it," He replied and I nodded as I headed towards the door.

"She found what?" said Alice and I gave her a questioning look.

"Esme's confused, and so… so is Alice," Edward informed me and I nodded as I ran up to the bed room.

I knocked before entering and Esme grunted, telling me to come in, almost silently, and I did. She was sitting on the floor, the journal closed in front of her, but there was no doubt in my mind that she had already finished reading it. My old barely put together bag was next to it, with my bible still in the original language, was still in it. She just looked up at me, sorrow in her eyes as much as it was in mine and she picked up my journal.

"What happened to her?" Esme asked finally, her voice barely audible.

"She died," I said, swallowing hard, almost to stop the tears that were still not coming, "August 22, 1659, or at least that's when she disappeared."

"Oh Carlisle," said Esme, as her quick brain calculated that that was almost exactly one year after I had been turned, "Why didn't you turn her?"

"It was too late," I said, trying to remain distant to avoid dry sobbing, "She disappeared, her body never resurfaced, I couldn't find her. I looked for years, but she never showed up. That is the portion of my past story that I left out. I wandered hopeless and heart broken through Europe for years before the Volturi found me."

Esme was silent for a few seconds before she asked her next question.

"Do you still love her?" She said, it was more of statement than a question, she knew the answer already, but I nodded just the same

"Love like that is all consuming and true," I said quietly, and she looked up at me, "Love like that never fades, no matter how much time has passed."

"'All consuming'?" Esme said and I just looked at her, sorrow filling my eyes once more.

"I am truly sorry, Esme," I said simply, anything more would have been more hurtful.

"Why did you marry me then, Carlisle?" said Esme, she was angry now, and I couldn't blame her.

"You loved me," I said, "Edward confirmed that, and he pushed me, he was tired of all my thoughts of Bella, and he thought that they would go away if I married. He thought I might find some happiness. He was trying to help me, though, it didn't help in the slightest, while being with you Esme is nice, the guilt is unbearable. I know it's stupid, and I should have moved on by now, but I really just fell like I'm wronging her, and I can't take hurting her, I feel like she's still out there somewhere. I know that could never be true, there's no way she could possibly be there still. My heart is hers, it always will be and I'm sorry I can't love you like you love me. I'm sorry you found out this way."

"Do you feel anything for me, Carlisle? Did you ever?" Esme asked.

"Second," I replied, it was the word that I had been avoiding for the past few minutes, "I feel like I'm sorry that you were second, but I wouldn't trade the way things were with Bella, at least in the beginning, for anything. It's like I love you because of the years that have gone by, but it's still only a tiny proportion of the way I can love and the way I do love Isabella. You deserve more than I can love."

Esme nodded as I sank to my knees and picked up the journal. I opened it slowly as the old binding creaked and I flipped through the pages to the last one before the last cover. I looked down at the sketch of Isabella that I had made once I had been turned. It had captured her like a modern photograph. She was standing out on the balcony, the way she had so many times to watch me as I passed, I had drawn it after she had disappeared.

"I'm leaving," Esme said as she stood up, our entire conversation until that point had been a whisper so no one downstairs would here, and I heard angry shouts from downstairs, but I gave them no notice.

"Ok," I said, I felt bad, again.

I should've been sad to see her leaving, not relieved like I felt. I just sat there, and by the time I heard the kids outside screaming and begging Esme to stay downstairs, I had moved just enough to put my journal back into my bag. I stood up slowly, even by human standards and I lifted the bag over my shoulder as Alice, followed closely by the rest of the 'kids' burst in throw the door.

"Carlisle!" Alice said, "What the hell is going on?"

Everyone but Edward looked murderous. I suppose I couldn't blame them either, they, with the way things were happening, would obviously think that I was having an affair of some kind, which was not entirely inaccurate.

"Explain." Rosalie said pointedly and Edward sighed.

"Lay off, guys," said Edward and all of their murderous stares switched to lay on him.

"You knew what was going on the whole time?" Emmett said, for once serious, as realization dropped on him.

"Trust me, you want to let him recover," said Edward, giving me a sorrowful look.

"No," said Rosalie angrily, "He needs to explain this to us now!"

"Carlisle…" said Edward, "Would you like me to explain?"

"No," I said, taking the journal back out of my bag and holding it out for the kids to take, "Read this, then I'll start."

--

A/N: Ok so yeah, we jumped ahead a little bit, but you guys get to know what happened next when Carlisle tells the kids…


	9. My Real Story

Disclaimer: I no own

A/N: yeah so here we go… hope I filled just about everything in.. and probably one more chapter… Read. Enjoy. Review

Love Never Fades

Chapter Nine – My Real Story

I sat down on the edge of the bed as they all passed around my journal. Luckily, thanks to the vampire assisted reading skills, they each only had to hold it a few minutes before passing it to the next person. It was on Emmett as I sat, and it usually took him longer to read. The room was now filled with a more understanding and sympathetic waves that Jasper was giving off. Emmett closed the journal lightly, as to not break it and went to pass it to Edward as Alice sat down next to me, and tried to comfort me by putting her arm around my shoulders.

"You need it?" Emmett asked solemnly, and Edward shook his head.

"I read that many years ago," said Edward as Emmett put the little leather book back into the bag that was now on the floor near the edge of the bed, "You want me to explain?"

I shook my head. Edward hadn't just said that, I had been thinking that I would rather he explain, but I knew that it would be best if I did it myself. The rest of the kids sat down in front of me as Alice started to massage my shoulders a little and Jasper tried to radiate some sort of calm toward me, but it didn't help much.

"No, I have it," I whispered as Edward nodded and joined his siblings on the floor.

They all looked up at me, or in Alice's case, over at me while I tried to figure out how to tell them. I figured the beginning would be a good place to start.

"So, I'm not going to insult all of you guys' intelligence, I think you figured it out from the letters what happened up until they ended," I said as Alice gasped as I decided how I was going to go about this, "What you may not have realized is that night that we were supposed to leave, I was changed. I was on my way to the harbor, and I was eighteen."

"Wait you're not-?" Rosalie said, I had let them all think I was older.

"Don't interrupt, Rose!" Alice said, and I swallowed before continuing.

"Well, no not exactly," I said, "Anyways, immediately, I tried to destroy myself, that part of the story was true. But, once I realized that I couldn't, I went back, and swallowed my need for blood to make sure Alexander couldn't lay a hand on Isabella. I went to their wedding, and I sat in the back. I held her when she cried late at night, knowing that she would just think she was dreaming, and I locked Alexander out of the house when he was stumbling home angry and drunk. I even went so far as to hit him with a plank of wood in an ally so he wouldn't be able to hurt her.

That went on for about a year. I never let either of them know I was there. Then, I went across the harbor for a hunting during one of the days, I figured it was safe for me to go, seeing as I wouldn't be gone all that long, and it was during the day. She went missing while I was gone, it was silent, and I couldn't hear it from across the harbor. No one could find her body, I couldn't find it. I searched for years, decades. I couldn't even find her body.

I drove myself delirious over it, I couldn't find her. I searched all of Europe for her. Maybe she had gotten away. Maybe she swam the channel and is in France. I scoured the entire known world at that point for her, and I ended up in Italy last. That was my last hope, Bella wouldn't have been able to get to America, Alexander had spent all the money I had given her to escape with me on alcohol.

That's where Aro found me, in Volterra, I had gone weak from not hunting for so long while I was searching. I had collapsed in an ally way near where he, Marcus and Caius are. Back then they were able to walk around, and Aro had been curious about me, and he recognized me for what I was.

I stood me up and in the touch, I didn't realize it at the time, but he learned everything. He asked me how old I was, and I knew he was older. I didn't want to seem too young, I knew that I hadn't aged from eighteen, but I was fearful. I answered him twenty three, and he accepted it, knowing just how much hurt and hardship I had been through. He gave me certain – liberties – that they probably wouldn't have let me do. They did a lot for me while I was there, they were very careful around me. They made me strong and let me take care of things my way.

I stayed there a while with them, then they weren't all that happy to let me leave, but they let me. I went to Medical school, which obviously back then much less involved than it is now. But, eventually I ended up in Chicago, treating Edward and his family. I couldn't not save him, his mother reminded me of my own mother, the night I was supposed to leave with Isabella. She told me to save her, and I don't know, it just clicked when Edward's mom asked me."

"Wait so why did you marry Esme?" Emmett asked, "If you were all broken up…"

"That would be my fault," said Edward, I objected mentally, it was my choice when it came down to it, but he clarified, "Or rather I was I big nudge for him to."

"Edward?" said Alice, seeing where he was going.

"Let me explain," said Edward taking a deep, unnecessary breath, "Carlisle was a mess, I knew that Esme had a huge crush on him, and I knew that Carlisle liked her. I did, regrettably know that he didn't love her. But I thought it would help. I pushed him into it. And it helped a tiny bit for a while, but not long. Not more than about a week. Jasper you really didn't notice that he's miserable all the time?"

Jasper just looked at him, and scowled.

"Thanks, Edward," I said, sarcastically.

"It's true," said Edward and Alice leaned over on my shoulder again, making a pouting face.

"Ok," said Alice, patting my shoulders, "Why don't we all leave Carlisle along now."

"No," said Edward for me, "Let's all go hunting or something. I'm sure that Carlisle doesn't exactly want to be alone right now."

"You would know," said Emmett as I stood up and went over to my dresser and put my bag on the top of it.

"Ok," said Alice cheerily, trying to make me feel better as she took Jasper's hand and they all filed, almost silently towards the door, that is except Rosalie.

"Dad, I had no clue," she said, and I nodded as I wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"I know," I said as we went to follow the rest of them.

"I'm sorry I-"

"It's ok, Rose, honey," I said as we walked down the stairs and I let go of her as we reached the group.

"You all set?" said Emmett, and I did not fail to see the double meaning as Rosalie returned to his side, or rather the other way around.

"Yeah," I said as Jasper clapped me on the back.


	10. Peace

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

A/N: Ok, so the last installment… sarcastic tone: hmm… I wonder what'll happen????... lol hope it gains your approval… Read. Enjoy. Review… :o) (Haha it's a clown...)

Love Never Fades

Chapter Ten – Peace

One of the most terrible things about living in a house full of vampires, particularly ones with gifts like Edward, Jasper, and Alice's was the lack of privacy. I was laid on my bed multiple times that week, thinking of Isabella and the moment she entered my thoughts the three of them burst through the door and Alice would ask if I wanted to talk about it, even though she knew I didn't want to. Then Edward would herd them out of the room, knowing immediately that I wanted to be alone again, it was getting to be quite the routine. I wasn't really annoyed with them, they were just worried about me.

I was more morbid than usual, and that was saying something. I went to work early and came back late, retiring to my bedroom as soon as I got in the door. I wasn't even hunting as often as I usually did. Come to think of it, I probably hadn't hunted since they had all taken me out, the night Esme had left. It had been almost two weeks since, and it was late in the day as I headed down the stairs, silently, to go outside for a quick hunt.

I hit the bottom of the stairs, I unlike my 'children', still liked to use the front and back doors as apposed to just jumping out the many windows of the house, all the eyes were on me. They were all conjugated around the coffee table, in an eerie silence that just told me that they had just stopped talking about me as Alice had seen me decide to go for a quick hunt. They all just looked at me, as I felt a small wave of peace and calming come towards me, thanks, no doubt to Jasper.

"Where're you going?" Alice asked, no doubt she already knew and was just going through the formality.

"Quick hunt," I said, "I'll be back soon enough, don't worry."

"Well you want me to go with you?" Emmett asked and he was immediately elbowed, rather harshly by Rosalie who was sitting next to him.

"You can't go," said Alice a little worriedly.

"I'll be right back," I said as I grabbed my coat off the hook and headed for the door.

"Carlisle," said Edward, "You really might want to wait until morning."

"I have work in the morning," I said simply, putting on my coat, "Honestly, I'll be back in two, three hours tops."

"Fine," said Alice in a huff, no doubt realizing this was a battle she was going to lose.

"Well since you're going anyways…," said Emmett and he got elbowed again, "Fine."

"Hurry," said Alice.

"I haven't hunted in a while," I said.

"Ok, go, go, go," said Alice bouncing off the couch.

"Am I missing something?" I asked and they all shook their heads violently, I didn't have to be Edward, or even Jasper or Alice to know they were lying, but I didn't really care, "Ok, bye."

I stepped out of the door and took off. I ran through the night air, reveling in the feel of the wind on my back again. I took a few minutes just to run through the woods in the dark night before I slowed and tried to catch the scent of a deer. Though, soon enough I found the scent of a moose, which was better considering my current state. I followed it further into the woods before catching up with it and very easily over taking the older looking moose.

When I was finished I stashed the corpse near the river where a wolf or something would be able to find it, and that way it could fulfill it's purpose in the normal food chain. I walked back to the trail and started walking, at a normal human pace, back towards the house. I realized I was probably somewhere in the lower portion of Canada, just above the border most likely. I walked along until I found a deer to top off the moose.

As I set the deer beside a deserted highway, I had gotten a tad overenthusiastic when I was tackling it, and it looked as if it had been hit, I remembered my promise to Alice, and headed back to the house. As I ran I realized just how far I had gone from the house, and it was about an hour in and of itself to get back to the house.

I stopped short outside the house. There was a scent of a vampire that I had not yet met outside leading towards the house. It was a sweet, delicious scent, it was vaguely familiar, and it seemed friendly enough as I walked into the house.

"Sorry, Alice," I said as I walked in and hung my coat, not bothering to look around the room really, "I went a little further than I thought I was going to."

"It's not me you should be sorry to," she said and I looked over at her, then saw her.

The most beautiful vampire I had ever seen, but I had seen her. Her hair was perfectly brown, shiny, and slightly wavy, her skin was white, and her eyes were golden. The expression on her face was an apprehensive one, but one that I had seen a million times before, both in true life and in my metaphorical dreams. I couldn't breathe, good thing I didn't need to, and I was sure I would be crying too if I could.

"Isabella?" I breathed and she nodded, her eyes filling with tears that wouldn't ever fall.

I crossed the patch of carpet that separated us in seconds and wrapped my arms tightly around her, pulling her close as I leaned down and attached my lips to hers. I couldn't think of anything but the woman in my arms, it felt so right.

Our cold lips moved together, and I know it would have gone on indefinitely if not for Emmett.

"Carlisle!" He yelled boisterously after at least ten minutes of clearing his throat.

"Where've you been, how did you find me?" I asked her, looking into her golden eyes, which brought a whole other series of questions into my head. "How did you."

"Carlisle," she murmured simply as she pushed her head into my chest, and I held her closer before she pulled a little away and started to kiss all over my neck.

"Shh, my Bella," I said as I held her at arms' length and she just looked at me, stone eyes melting a little as I used her pet name.

"I, left, I thought you were dead," she said.

"I thought you were too," I replied.

"Then I traveled, I did, terrible things, because it didn't matter," she said, "Then I found the Volturi. I didn't want to kill people anymore, they told me about this one vampire they had met, and how he ate deer. They didn't tell me it was you. Aro would touch my arm and not see anything, he said I was a shield, they didn't know who I was. I ended up seeing your portrait with them, and I asked them and they told me the whole story. Then I asked them where you were, and here I am. I can't believe this."

She was talking a mile a minute, almost literally, and I was so lost in my own thoughts as I held her that I didn't register much more than she was here. I couldn't believe it anymore than she said she couldn't, I carried her over to the couch and sat down with her on my lap.

"We are going to be the best of friends," Alice said with a smile, and Isabella looked over at her quickly and she hopped out of my lap, and then looked down at me.

"Oh God!" She exclaimed, "You're married, Aro told me but it completely just…"

"Bella," I whispered, looking up at her and all her beauty.

"Don't worry," said Emmett, saving me from answering her, "He's completely available."

"What?" she said, looking at me skeptically.

"She left, a few weeks ago, she seemed to have found my journal," I said, "And that was how she found out about you, and she asked me if I still loved you. She didn't like my answer, she understood, I think, but she didn't want to stick around for eminent heartbreak."

She relaxed a little bit and I ran to her, just across the room, and kissed her tenderly.

"I love you, so much," I said.

"I love you too," she said, cupping the side of my face and kissing me quickly.

At this exchange, she started dry sobbing into my chest as I held her tight, careful not to crush her into dust. I kissed her head over and over and over again, not ever wanting to stop. With each kiss I whispered my love, pronouncing my undying desire for her as we stood there in the living room. Our bodies were touching at any given point.

"We're gonna, uh go out for a while," said Emmett in the background as he led his siblings from the house, "We'll be back in the morning I guess."

I pulled away as I felt a little trickle down my cheek, and I looked down at Isabella, who had two streams of tears as well. I was puzzled momentarily before I decided not to question it, some mysteries were better left unsolved. The world worked in wonderful and mysterious ways, and in light of the miracle that had just occurred, I had no complaints, and I had a feeling I never would.

--

A/N: Ok, so I gave them tears, yeah, mostly because I would be, and was very close to balling my eyes out while I wrote this… Don't forget to review!!!


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